If you’re anything like me, the last couple of months have felt like being in the world’s homiest prison. I know I’m more or less free to go as I please, as long as I stay away from others (something I more or less try to do anyway) but I haven’t been. The days come and go like a slow moving parade of could’ves and should’ves… I wave as they pass me by then take another bite of my 10,000th morning bagel.
Epic hikes have become epic walks to the mailbox. Sunshine has become fluorescent. Comfortably uncomfortable has become uncomfortably comfortable. Going without a shower for three days in Yosemite has become going without a shower for three days in your apartment. Ok, perhaps not everything has changed.
For those of us who spend our lives outdoors, being forced to live indoors due to the COVID-19 pandemic is – how do I put this lightly? Tortuous. Responsible, but tortuous.
– common names; “Travel Bug”, “Wanderlust”, “Fresh Air Fever”
I grew up relatively shy. I was the type of kid who felt right at home playing roller hockey with the kids on my block, yet extremely uncomfortable in organized sports like basketball or soccer. Reluctantly, I joined my high school football team. I loved the sport but there was an obvious disconnect between myself and the team. Perhaps it was the jock culture or merely spending time with the “popular” kids, but I knew I didn’t fit in. Not to mention I was not built like a 35-year-old man at 15, like many of my peers.
It is easy to take. Easy to talk about yourself. Getting what you want feels comfortable. Having your way feels empowering. Being selfish is rewarding. Getting ahead, gaining a step, unlocking the fast lane, accumulating wealth, collecting pride points, and scoring the win. It all feels great.
What is a trail? What does it mean to leave a trail? How do you know which trail to follow?
I am a fly on the wall
A fly for ya’ll standing one inch tall
And on this wall I hear your buzzings
The things that you say, all your goings and comings