One day, Kenny was making breakfast. He finally had a good night’s sleep behind him and was ready to take on the day. It was a big day, the biggest of his life. Kenny walked by his pet dog, Bosco, a fat french bulldog. He gave him a scratch behind the ears before heading to the fridge to retrieve his morning eggs. Oh-Hey there, I didn’t see you. Yes, you, reading this. Hi! Wow, what beautiful eyes, following along these words. “Hey no, what are you doing-“ , Kenny asked, seemingly distracted. You know what, don’t worry about Kenny. Anyway, are you enjoying the story so far? It’s ok I guess. But let’s talk about you.
What brought you hear today? “Hello?!”, Kenny was looking around, it’s not important. “This is my story, you’re supposed to be narrating, pay attention to-“ .
Don’t worry about that last paragraph, tell me about you. You look nice today. Would you like to go out sometime? My treat! Kenny was dumbfounded, “Wait. Are you kidding me, are you really doing this? Are you flirting with them?! This is so inappropriate!”. No one was listening to him or cared about his stupid breakfast. “WHAT-“ , Kenny tried to hurl his plate at the ceiling but nothing happened. In fact, he was sitting at the table eating his eggs (cold) in silence. Anyways, back to me and you, there’s no denying there’s some chemistry here, why don’t we- Kenny spits out his eggs, “AGH, no no no! This story is about me! I was just about to leave for my first day of work, I was just elected President, I’m on my way to get sworn in. That’s interesting, that’s something people would want to read about, that’s-“
“This isn’t a book! There are no chapters. You can’t just do whatever you-“
Hey remember back in paragraph one when I said I didn’t notice you there. I actually did. I noticed you as soon as you clicked on this story. “I’ll have you know I am a very important person, I-“ Bosco wouldn’t stop barking, it was a shame no one could hear Kenny. “I SAID, I-“ . Well this is probably not so fun to read anymore. I hope this isn’t too forward but, you’re cute. Why don’t you and I get out of here and go someplace less distracting- “MY STORY JUST STARTED, WHAT ARE YOU-“